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英文笑話文章（精選11篇）
無論在學(xué)習(xí)、工作或是生活中，大家應(yīng)該都對(duì)文章很熟悉吧？隨著網(wǎng)絡(luò)文化的發(fā)展，文章的概念已經(jīng)不限定于某種文體，或某類內(nèi)容。你知道寫文章的精髓是什么嗎？下面是小編精心整理的英文笑話文章，僅供參考，歡迎大家閱讀。
英文笑話文章 1
After his beloved horse died, a man wanted to place an ad in the newspaper like this: Horse saddle and bridle for $50.Inadvertently(非故意地) the paper added a comma to the ad, which read instead:Horse, saddle and bridle for $50.Immediately someone responded to the ad, Thats an awfully cheap price for a horse, said the caller, Whats wrong with your horse?Well, he is dead, replied the man who placed theerroneously(錯(cuò)誤地) typed ad.
英文笑話文章 2
Barber: Were you wearing a red scarf when you came in?Customer: No. Barber: Oh, then I must have cut your throat.
英文笑話文章 3
One day, he went out hunting with some friends. A strong wind suddenly blew his wig off. When his friends saw what had happened, they started laughing so hard that they could not stop.The bald guy started laughing, too, and just as loudly as the other men. He said to his friends, “How can I expect my fake hair to stay on my head when even my real hair won’t stay there?”
英文笑話文章 4
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
它們是從美國(guó)直接帶來的一位中國(guó)老婦人在美國(guó)看望女兒回來不久，到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行柜臺(tái)，銀行職員認(rèn)真檢查了每一張鈔票，看是否有假。
這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最后實(shí)在忍耐不住說：“相信我，先生，也請(qǐng)你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元，它們是從美國(guó)直接帶來的.�！�
英文笑話文章 5
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents house. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers, when the younger one began praying at the top of his lungs: "I pray for a bicycle. I pray for a new toy."
兩個(gè)小男孩在祖父母家過夜。睡覺的'時(shí)候，兩個(gè)小男孩跪在床邊開始祈禱，這時(shí)小一些的孩子扯開嗓子大聲喊道：“我祈求得到一輛自行車。我祈求有一個(gè)新玩具�！�
His older brother leaned over, nudged him and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isnt deaf."
他的哥哥靠過來，用肘輕碰他說：“你為什么這么大聲喊叫呢？上帝又不是聾子�！�
To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"
弟弟回答說：“是的，但是奶奶聽不到呀！”
英文笑話文章 6
不必再看眼科醫(yī)生了
It had been many years since my last eye exam,and my wife was pestering me to make an appointment. The more she nagged , the more I procrastinated. Finally，she made an appointment for me.
我己經(jīng)很多年沒做眼睛檢查了。我妻子總是催我去掛個(gè)號(hào)。她越是督我，我越是耽擱不去。最后，她替我掛了個(gè)號(hào)。
The day before I was to see the doctor，I was in an affectionate mood. After kissing and hugging her, I told her she really looked. good to me.,
在我去見醫(yī)生的'前一天，我的情緒特別好。我對(duì)妻于又是親又是抱，還說她是我眼里最漂亮的女人.
"That does it,”she said.“Im canceling your appointment."
她說:“這回眼睛沒問題了，那我現(xiàn)在就去把號(hào)退了�！�
英文笑話文章 7
A woman who frequently visited a small antique shop rarely purchased anything，but always found fault with the merchandise and prices. The manager and her salesclerk took the womans grumpy complaints in stride，but one day she went too far. "Why is it I never manage to get what I ask for in your shop?”demanded the woman.
一名婦女經(jīng)常光顧一家小古董店，但幾乎從不買什么東西，卻總是對(duì)商品和價(jià)格吹毛求疵。對(duì)于那婦女的粗暴袍怨，經(jīng)理和她的銷售員總是應(yīng)付了事，但是有一天她做得太過分了�！盀槭裁茨銈兊昀锟偸遣荒艿玫轿蚁胍腵東西?”那名婦女指責(zé)說。
A smile on her face，the clerk calmly replied，“Perhaps its because we’re too polite.”
職員臉上帶著微笑，沉著地回答道:“也許是因?yàn)槲覀兲卸Y貌了�！�
英文笑話文章 8
I was accompanying my husband on a business trip. He carried his portable computer with him, and the guard at the airport gate asked him to open the case. It was locked, and the man waited patiently as my embarrassed spouse struggled to remember the combination. At last he succeeded.
我陪丈夫一起出差，他帶著他的'筆記本電腦。到了機(jī)場(chǎng)出口處時(shí)， 有位檢查員要他打開包。但是包鎖上了，機(jī)場(chǎng)工作人員耐心地等著我那窘迫的丈夫設(shè)法回想起暗鎖的密碼。最后他終于想起來了。
“Why are you so nervous?"I asked him.
”你為什么那么緊張呢？“我問他。
"The numbers are the date of our annivorsary．my husband confessed.
“密碼是我們的結(jié)婚紀(jì)念日�！彼姓J(rèn)道”
你太晚了 You are too late 幽默笑話
英文笑話文章 9
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer." The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, Ill play it."
一男子去酒吧，點(diǎn)了一杯啤酒。他喝了一口放下。當(dāng)他環(huán)視酒吧時(shí)，發(fā)現(xiàn)一只猴子蕩下來，在他阻止之前，偷走了啤酒。該男子問酒吧招待，這只猴子是誰的。服務(wù)員回答說是鋼琴手的。男子走到鋼琴手面前問：“你知道你的`猴子偷了我的啤酒嗎？”鋼琴手回答說：“沒有，但是如果你能哼唱，我會(huì)為你演奏的。”
英文笑話文章 10
A young man fell into a state of coma, but recovered before his friends had buried him. One of them asked what it felt like to be dead.
"Dead!" he exclaimed. "I wasnt dead. And I knew I wasnt, because my feet were cold and I was hungry."
"But how did that make you sure?"
"Well, I knew that if I were in heaven I shouldnt be hungry, and if I was in the other place my feet wouldnt be cold."
一個(gè)年輕人昏死了過去，但是當(dāng)他的朋友們要掩埋他的時(shí)候卻又蘇醒過來。他的一個(gè)朋友問他死的'感覺是怎樣的。
“死!”他喊道“我并沒有死，我知道我沒死，因?yàn)槲业哪_是涼的，而我又很餓�！�
“你怎么能肯定你沒死?”
“當(dāng)然哪，我知道如果我上了天堂，我就不會(huì)覺得餓;如果我下到地獄，那我的腳就不會(huì)是涼的了�！�
英文笑話文章 11
Selling secondhand books at our church bazaar，I got into an argument with a prospective customer. He was interested in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it was overpriced at 35 cents. Other paperbacks were selling for 10 or 15 cents each.
在教堂的義賣市上賣舊書時(shí)，我與一名準(zhǔn)備買東西的顧客發(fā)生了一場(chǎng)爭(zhēng)論。他對(duì)購(gòu)買袖珍《奧金·納什集》頗感興趣，但是說它要三十五美分開價(jià)過高。其他的平裝書每本才賣十戴十五美分。
I pointed out that the book was in good condition. Nash was a fun poet，and it was for a good cause. He said it was a matter of principle.Ultimately, I agreed to sell him the book for 15 cents. Triumphant，he paid with a $10 bill.“Keep the change，”he said.
我指出這本書保存狀況頗好，納什是個(gè)有趣的詩人，這個(gè)要價(jià)是合理的`。他說這是個(gè)原則問題。最終，我同意以十五美分的價(jià)格將這本書賣給他。他得意洋洋，掌出一張十美元的票子付賬�！傲沐X不用找了�！彼f。
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