短的小英語笑話（通用40篇）

　　總所周知，笑話是一種緩和氣氛的好辦法。小編在這里給大家分享短的小英語笑話帶翻譯，走過路過不要錯(cuò)過啦!

　　短的小英語笑話 1

　　There are five people in a bar, a bartender, three normal guys and a girl. The bar tender tells the guys, "I am opening up a bar and need a name for it." He then says, " That whoever thinks of the best name, that, that person could come to the grand opening for free."

　　Then he asks the first guy, the first guy is too drunk to answer and just falls of his bar stool, then he asks the second guy and he says, "To hell with you, I dont want to come to your new stupid bar."Finally he asks the third guy, the third guy says," Hang on, i am looking at Marys legs", then bar tender says,"Thats great, Marys Legs." About three months later the guy who won by coming up with the best name is waiting outside and a cop comes up to him and says," What are you doing sir? Then the guy says, "I am waiting for Marys legs to open so I can get a drink."!!!!!!!!!

　　短的小英語笑話 2

　　Tony and his father are eating dinner .

　　托尼正和他爸爸一起吃晚餐。

　　Suddenly Tony asks his father, “Dad, are flies yummy ?”

　　突然，托尼問他的`爸爸：“爸爸，蒼蠅好吃嗎?”

　　Dad frowns and says, “No, I think it’s yucky . Why do you ask me this question ? It’s a silly question.”

　　爸爸皺眉說：“我想不好吃。你怎么會(huì)問這個(gè)問題?這可是一個(gè)愚蠢的問題�！�

　　But Tony says, “ There was one fly in your plate .”

　　可是托尼說：“剛才你盤子里有一只蒼蠅�！�

　　短的小英語笑話 3

　　Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.

　　小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。

　　"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

　　“昨天給你的錢干什么了?”

　　"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

　　“我給了一個(gè)可憐的`老太婆，”他回答說。

　　"Youre a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

　　“你真是個(gè)好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說�！霸俳o你兩分錢�？赡銥槭裁磳�(duì)那位老太太那么感興趣呢?”

　　"She is the one who sells the candy."

　　“她是個(gè)賣糖果的�！�

　　短的小英語笑話 4

　　During the computer class，the teacher chastised one boy for talking to the girl sitting behind him.

　　計(jì)算機(jī)課上，老師批評(píng)一個(gè)男生，因?yàn)樗�和后邊的女生說話。

　　"I was just asking her a question，”the boy said.

　　“我只不過問她一個(gè)問題�！蹦猩�說。

　　"If you have a question, ask me, "the teacher replied

　　“如果你有問題，問我好了�！崩蠋熣f道。

　　“OK，"the boy answered.“Do you want to go out with me Friday night?"

　　“那好吧，”這個(gè)男生說，“周五晚上你愿意和我一起出去嗎?”

　　短的小英語笑話 5

　　An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida.His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.When he reached his hotel,he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.

　　Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address,he did his best to type it in from memory.Unfortunately,he missed one letter,and his note was directed instead to an elderly preachers wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.When the grieving widow checked her e-mail,she took one look at the monitor,let out a piercing scream,and fell to the floor dead.

　　At the sound,her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

　　Dearest Wife,

　　Just got checked in.Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

　　Your Loving Husband.

　　P.S.Sure is hot down here.

　　短的小英語笑話 6

　　quick cleanup 快速清掃

　　unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. she put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. it read "thank you for not looking in the bathtub."

　　不速之客就在路上，我媽媽，一個(gè)完美的家庭主婦，正忙里忙外地整理。她分配給我爸和我哥哥的任務(wù)是打掃供客人使用的'浴室。一會(huì)兒之后，當(dāng)她去檢查的時(shí)候，她吃驚了，曾經(jīng)一度雜亂的房間瞬間就被打掃干凈了。接著她看到浴簾上有一張紙條，紙條上寫著：“謝謝你沒往浴缸里看�！�

　　短的小英語笑話 7

　　A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."

　　"I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor.

　　Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "Im not dead. Im still alive."

　　"Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"

　　一個(gè)男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進(jìn)了醫(yī)院。他的妻子站在他的床前對(duì)醫(yī)生說：“我想他傷得很厲害。”

　　醫(yī)生說：“恐怕他已經(jīng)死了。”

　　聽到醫(yī)生的話，這個(gè)男人轉(zhuǎn)動(dòng)著頭說：“我沒死，我還活著�！�

　　妻子說：“安靜，醫(yī)生比你懂得多�！�

　　短的`小英語笑話 8

　　its me all right

　　A pretty young lady went to cash a check at a bank. The teller examined it, then asked, "Can you identify yourself? “Looking puzzled, the girl dipped into her handbag and pulled out a small mirror. She glanced into it for a moment, then smiled, "Yes, its me all right."

　　這就是我

　　一位年輕漂亮的女士到銀行取錢。出納員在檢查了她的存折后問道：“您能證明您的身份嗎？” 這個(gè)女孩聽了這話以后看上去很迷惑，隨后她從手提包里拿出一個(gè)小鏡子。她對(duì)著鏡子照了一會(huì)兒，笑了：“對(duì)呀，這就是我。

　　現(xiàn)在的'專欄不用權(quán)限就可以任意加入了,但是也發(fā)亂七八糟的了.請(qǐng)?jiān)诖税l(fā)貼的人,看清楚了好不好?

　　短的小英語笑話 9

　　The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

　　"Why use my elbow and foot?"

　　"Well, gosh," was the reply, "Youre not coming empty-handed, are you?"

　　一個(gè)聲名狼藉的小氣鬼終于決定要請(qǐng)一次客了。他在向一個(gè)朋友解釋怎么找到他家時(shí)說：“你上到五樓，用你的.胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了后，再用你的腳把門推開。”

　　“為什么我要用我的肘和腳呢?”

　　“天哪!” 吝嗇鬼回答，“你總不會(huì)空著手來吧?”

　　短的小英語笑話 10

　　Black eyes

　　A man came to work on Monday morning with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened.

　　The man replied, “On Sunday, I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her butt crack, so I was trying to be nice and I pulled it out for her. Then, she turned around and punched me in the eye.”

　　The boss asked, “Okay, so where did you get the other shiner?”

　　“Well,” the man said, “I figured she didn’t want it out, so I pushed it back in.”

　　短的小英語笑話 11

　　The Umbrella

　　A gentleman staying in a hotel left his umbrella in the hall, but he had put on the handle a card on which was written: "This umbrella belongs to a gentleman who can lift up a hundred pounds. I shall be back in ten minutes." When he came back, he found, instead of his umbrella, another card on which was written,"This card belongs to a man who can run tenmiles an hour. I shall not come back."

　　雨傘

　　一位住在旅館的紳士把他的雨傘放在了大廳里，不過他在傘柄上系了一張卡片，上面寫道，“此傘屬于一位能舉百磅的紳士。我將在十分鐘內(nèi)回來。當(dāng)他回來時(shí)，發(fā)現(xiàn)雨傘已經(jīng)不翼而飛，取而代之的`是另一張卡片，上面寫著：“此卡是一位一小時(shí)能跑十英里的人留下的，我將永遠(yuǎn)不回來了�！�

　　短的小英語笑話 12

　　Dumas仲馬

　　One day a man was taunting Alexandre Dumas，the greatFrench novelist，with his ancestry. “Why，” snarled the fellow，“you are a quadroon;yourfather was a mulatto，and your grandfather was a negro.” “Yes，” roared Dumas，“and，if you wish to knowmygreatgrandfather was a monkey. In fact， my pedigree beganwhere yours terminates.”

　　有一天，一個(gè)人在嘲弄法國(guó)大小說家亞歷山大·仲馬，譏笑他的祖先。 那家伙厲聲說：“唔，你是四分之一黑白混血兒，你父親是黑白混血兒，而你的祖父是個(gè)黑人�！� “是的'，”仲馬大聲回敬：“還有呢，如果你想知道的話， 我的曾祖父是一只猴子。其實(shí)我的血統(tǒng)起始于你的血統(tǒng)終止的地方�！�

　　短的小英語笑話 13

　　A highway patrol officer stopped a speeding motorist. "Dont you know what the blinking lights and siren mean?" he demanded.

　　一位公路巡警截住了一個(gè)超速司機(jī)�！半y道你不知道閃爍燈和警笛的意思嗎？”他責(zé)問道。

　　"Yes, sir," replied the driver.

　　“知道，長(zhǎng)官，”司機(jī)回答說。

　　"Then why didnt you pull over immediately?"

　　“那你為什么不立即靠邊停車？”

　　"I would have, officer, " the man said. "But last month my wife ran off with a policeman, and I was afraid you were bringing her back.

　　“我本來想這樣做的，長(zhǎng)官�！蹦悄凶踊卮鹫f，“但上個(gè)月我妻子和一位警察私奔了，我是害怕你把她帶回來。”

　　短的.小英語笑話 14

　　The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.孩子們?cè)谔熘鹘虒W(xué)校的'自助食堂中排隊(duì)打午飯。

　　At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."

　　在桌子的前端有一大堆蘋果。修女寫了一張字條，把它貼在了蘋果盤上：“只能拿一個(gè)，上帝在看著�！�

　　Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

　　繼續(xù)排著隊(duì)向前走，在桌子的盡頭有一大堆巧克力脆餅。

　　A child had written a note, "Take all you want.God is watching the apples."

　　一個(gè)孩子寫了張字條：“隨便拿，上帝在看著蘋果。”

　　短的小英語笑話 15

　　A child on Christmas time asked for some paper and crayons in order to draw a crib. Eventually the artistic masterpiece was displayed for parental approval. The manager, the shepherds, Jesus and Holy Family wore duly admired.

　　"But what"s that in the corner?" asked Mother.

　　"Oh, that"s their telly," replied the tot.

　　圣誕節(jié)時(shí)孩子要了紙和蠟筆，想畫一張耶穌誕生像。最后這件藝術(shù)品被陳列出來供父母鑒賞。

　　他們對(duì)耶穌誕生后睡的'馬槽，牧羊人，耶穌及其家庭都逐一表示贊賞。

　　“可是那個(gè)角落里是什么?”媽媽問。

　　“噢，那是他們的電視機(jī)，”孩子回答說。

　　短的小英語笑話 16

　　Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

　　"I think my friend is dead!" he yells. "What can I do?"

　　The operator says, "Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead."

　　There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, "Okay, now what?"

　　兩個(gè)獵人在森林里打獵，突然一人暈倒了。他的.呼吸停止，眼神呆滯。另外一個(gè)人掏出手機(jī)，撥打911。

　　“我想我的朋友死了！”他喊道，“我該怎么辦？”

　　接線員說：“請(qǐng)冷靜。首先，請(qǐng)確認(rèn)他是否真的死了。”接著一陣沉寂，然后是一聲槍響�；氐诫娫捴校�獵人接著說：“好了，然后呢？”

　　短的小英語笑話 17

　　After my husband，John，and I moved to Michigan from Nebraska，our new friends，proud of their beautiful tree一lined roads，teased us about the Mid-wests dull，flat，treeless land. When my parents，Nebraska farmers，visited us，I asked them about their trip.

　　我和丈夫約翰從內(nèi)布拉斯加搬到密西根后，我們新認(rèn)識(shí)的朋友們總為他們美麗的林蔭大過引以為榮.他們嘲諷我們的中西部平原荒涼、貧瘩，連株枯樹都沒有。后來我父母從內(nèi)布拉斯加的.老家來看我們，我問他們對(duì)旅途的感受。

　　What a boring drive，"my father replied."Once you get to Michigan, theres nothing to see but trees."

　　我父親抱怨著:“枯澡，乏味，一進(jìn)入密西根，除了樹什么都沒有�！�

　　短的小英語笑話 18

　　Early Shopper

　　采購(gòu)過早

　　It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.

　　那天是圣誕節(jié)，法官在審訊犯人時(shí)也有點(diǎn)惻隱之心�！澳銥槭裁炊�被起訴?”他問。

　　"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.

　　“采購(gòu)圣誕節(jié)物品過早。”被告答。

　　"Thats no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"

　　“這不算犯法，”法官回答，“你購(gòu)物多早?”

　　"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.

　　在商店開門之前，“犯人應(yīng)道。

　　短的小英語笑話 19

　　An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman: "How much this stuff?"

　　一位耳聾并且總是嫌?xùn)|西太貴的老太太走進(jìn)一家商店。 她問店員：“這東西要多少錢？”

　　"Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap." The lady said, "It is too much, give it to me for fourteen." "I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven."

　　“七美元，太太，這是很便宜的�！� 老太太說：“太貴了，十四美元差不多。” 店員忙說：“我沒說十七美元，是七美元�！�

　　"It is still too much," replied the old lady, "give it to me for five."

　　“還是太貴，”老太太說：“五美元，我就買啦�！�

　　短的`小英語笑話 20

　　Boy, Oh Boy 讓人無奈的'孩子

　　When theyre together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. "All right, you two," I said sternly. "No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting."

　　As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, "Cmon, Steven, lets get dirty . "

　　我五歲的兒子和他的表弟在一起的時(shí)候，總要招來大亂。一個(gè)星期六，我開始抗議了。“好啦，你們兩個(gè)，”我嚴(yán)厲地說，“不許叫喊，不許亂拿，不許哭鬧，不許亂敲，不許取笑，不許扯淡，不許弄壞玩具，不許亂抓，不許打架。” 我剛轉(zhuǎn)身要走，就聽我兒子說：“來，斯蒂文，我們來把自己弄臟吧�！�

　　短的小英語笑話 21

　　Lead us not into temptation

　　A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldnt find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I dont park here, Ill miss my appointment. Forgive us ourtrespasses."

　　When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note "Ive circled this block for 10 years. If I dont give you a ticket Ill lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."

　　短的小英語笑話 22

　　A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.

　　Here is the situation, she said. A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.

　　His wife hears the commotion, knows that he cant swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?

　　A girl raised her hand and asked, to draw out all of his savings?

　　小學(xué)四年級(jí)的教師正在給學(xué)生們上一堂邏輯課。她舉了這么一個(gè)例子：有這樣一種情況，一個(gè)男人在河中心的.船上釣魚，突然失去重心掉進(jìn)了水里。于是他開始掙扎并喊救命。

　　他的妻子聽到了他的喊聲，知道他并不會(huì)游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。誰能告訴我這是為什么? 一個(gè)女生舉手答道，是不是去取他的存款?

　　短的小英語笑話 23

　　we attended the wedding of an acquaintances son. because we did not know the young man or his bride, we decided to send them a practical household gift, a fire extinguisher. apparently, the couple mass-produced their thank-you notes because we received a card saying: thank you very much for the nice wedding gift. we look forward to using it soon.

　　我們參加了一個(gè)熟人的兒子的婚禮。由于我們都不認(rèn)識(shí)那個(gè)年輕人和他的新娘，所以我們決定送給他們一個(gè)實(shí)用的全家禮----一個(gè)滅火器。很明顯，這對(duì)新人大批量制作了他們的感謝信，因?yàn)槲覀兪盏搅艘粡埧ㄆ�，上面寫著：“非常感謝您的`漂亮的結(jié)婚禮物，我們期待著不久就用到它�！�

　　短的小英語笑話 24

　　After two weeks of Air Force basic training. I called home. "You wouldnt believe how strict they are," I complained. "They even give demerits for things like not hanging your towel straight or nottightening the cap of your toothpaste properly."

　　"Well, dear," my mom responded, "dont think of it as basic training. Think of it as Mothersrevenge."

　　經(jīng)過兩個(gè)星期的空軍基礎(chǔ)訓(xùn)練，我給家里打電話，“你不相信他們的要求是多么的嚴(yán)格，”我抱怨道，“他們甚至對(duì)事情提出過分的要求，像毛巾掛得不直或牙膏蓋沒擰緊�！�

　　“好，親愛的`，”媽媽回道，“不要那樣看待基礎(chǔ)訓(xùn)練，把它看作是媽媽的報(bào)復(fù)吧�！�

　　短的小英語笑話 25

　　《Who Is the Laziest》 誰最懶

　　Father: “Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?”

　　Tom: “I dont know, father.”

　　Father: “Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?”

　　Tom: “Our teacher, father.”

　　父親：“哎，湯姆，今天我跟你們老師談過，現(xiàn)在我想問你個(gè)問題。你們班上誰最懶?”

　　湯姆：“我不知道，爸爸�！�

　　父親：“啊，不對(duì)，你知道!想想看，當(dāng)別的'孩子們都在做作業(yè)、寫字時(shí)，誰在課堂上坐著，只是看人家做功課?”

　　湯姆：“我們老師，爸爸�！�

　　生難詞：lazy adj.懶惰的

　　短的小英語笑話 26

　　Wife: "How would you describe me?"

　　妻子：你會(huì)怎么形容我呢?

　　Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."

　　丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK.

　　Wife: "What does that mean?"

　　妻子：那是什么意思?

　　Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."

　　丈夫：迷人的、魅力的'、可愛的、令人愉悅的、優(yōu)雅的、時(shí)髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。

　　Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"

　　妻子：哇，謝謝，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?

　　Husband: "Im just kidding!"

　　丈夫：開個(gè)玩笑!

　　短的小英語笑話 27

　　《Who is Stupid》 誰愚蠢

　　A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying,"Everyone who thinks youre stupid, stand up!"

　　Little Johnny then stood up.

　　The teacher said,"Do you think youre stupid, Johnny?"

　　"No,but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

　　一個(gè)老師在對(duì)學(xué)生們講心理學(xué)，“誰認(rèn)為自己蠢就站起來?”她一開始就說。

　　小約翰尼站了起來。

　　“你認(rèn)為你很蠢嗎，小約翰尼?”老師問。

　　“不是的`，老師，我只是不喜歡看你一個(gè)人站著�！�

　　生難詞：stupid adj.愚蠢的，遲鈍的

　　短的小英語笑話 28

　　A foreign visitor touring the great American West came across an Indian with his ear pressed tothe ground. 一位外國(guó)游客到美國(guó)大西部游覽，碰到一個(gè)印第安人把耳朵緊貼在地上。

　　"What are you listening for?" heasked. "你在聽什么呢?"他詢問道。

　　“為了向你表示謝意，我送你一只龍蝦�！闭f著他便給老板一只活蹦亂跳的大龍蝦。

　　"Well, thats very kind of you. My wife and I will have it for dinner. " “您真好，我太太和我將以它當(dāng)晚餐�！�

　　"Oh, hes already had dinner. But I am sure hed love to take in a movie. " “喔，它已經(jīng)吃過晚餐了，但我想它會(huì)喜歡看場(chǎng)電影�！�

　　短的小英語笑話 29

　　Always Thirsty

　　"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me."

　　"That"s terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?"

　　"No, but I am always thirsty!"

　　總感到口渴

　　一個(gè)男人對(duì)他的朋友說：“我動(dòng)了一次手術(shù)，手術(shù)后醫(yī)生把一塊海綿忘在我的身體里了。”

　　“真是太糟糕了！”朋友說道：“你覺得疼嗎？”

　　“不疼，可是我總感到口渴�！�

　　作業(yè):

　　A Useful Way

　　Father: Jack, why do you drink so much water?

　　Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad.

　　Father: What"s that got to do with it?

　　Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.

　　短的.小英語笑話 30

　　不必再看眼科醫(yī)生了

　　It had been many years since my last eye exam,and my wife was pestering me to make an appointment. The more she nagged , the more I procrastinated. Finally，she made an appointment for me.

　　我己經(jīng)很多年沒做眼睛檢查了。我妻子總是催我去掛個(gè)號(hào)。她越是督我，我越是耽擱不去。最后，她替我掛了個(gè)號(hào)。

　　The day before I was to see the doctor，I was in an affectionate mood. After kissing and hugging her, I told her she really looked. good to me.,

　　在我去見醫(yī)生的前一天，我的`情緒特別好。我對(duì)妻于又是親又是抱，還說她是我眼里最漂亮的女人.

　　"That does it,”she said.“Im canceling your appointment."

　　她說:“這回眼睛沒問題了，那我現(xiàn)在就去把號(hào)退了�！�

　　短的小英語笑話 31

　　A Gentle Reminder委婉提醒

　　Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, "Honey, do you realize that weve been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"

　　Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, "So, you want to switch seats?"

　　婚后已久，我丈夫往往在一個(gè)特別事情上需要委婉的提醒。在我們結(jié)婚35周年紀(jì)念的早上，我們正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示道：“親愛的，你意識(shí)到我們?cè)谶@兩個(gè)相同的.座位上已坐了整整35年了嗎?”

　　他放下報(bào)紙，眼睛直直地望著我：“因此，你想交換座位嗎?”

　　短的小英語笑話 32

　　At the police department, the phone rang. “Hallo, hallo!”

　　the policeman answered. “I’ve lost my cat!”

　　And the policeman said, “I’m sorry, sir,

　　that’s not the job of the police. We’re too busy!”

　　The person said, “But you don’t understand. This is a very

　　intelligent cat! He’s almost human; he can practically talk!”

　　So the policeman said, “Then you’d better hang up.

　　He might be trying to call you!”

　　警察局的電話響了，警察接起電話說：「喂!喂!」

　　「我的.貓不見了!」警察說：「先生，很抱歉!

　　這不是警察的職責(zé)，我們太忙了!」

　　對(duì)方說：「但是你不了解，這是一只很聰明的貓，

　　他幾乎像人一樣可以說話!」于是警察說道：

　　「那你最好掛斷電話，他可能正試著打電話給你!」

　　短的小英語笑話 33

　　The Flying Nun

　　A Highway Trooper is surprised to find a nun behind the wheel of the car he has pulled over. "Im terribly sorry maam but its not safe to do 35 mph on the interstate."

　　"But all the signs said 35," she replied.

　　"Those are route signs, maam. This is route 35". At this point he looks in the back seat to see two more nuns, mouths ajar, eyes wide open, in an obvious state of shock.

　　"Whats the matter?" he asks.

　　"Oh, we just pulled off of route 99."

　　短的小英語笑話 34

　　who was the first man? 誰是世界上第一個(gè)男人

　　a teacher said to her class:”who was the first man?”

　　一個(gè)老師問她的.學(xué)生：“誰是世界上第一個(gè)男人”

　　“george washington,” a little boy shouted promptly.

　　一個(gè)小男孩立刻大聲說：“喬治.華盛頓�！�

　　“how do you make out that george washington was the first man?”asked the teacher，smiling indulgently.

　　老師帶著寵溺的笑容問這個(gè)男生：“你如何證明喬治華盛頓是世界上第一個(gè)男人呢�！�

　　“because,” said the little boy, “he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”

　　這個(gè)男孩子說：“因?yàn)�，他是第一個(gè)挑起戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)，第一個(gè)主張和平，并且是第一個(gè)深得民心的人�！�

　　短的小英語笑話 35

　　A man goes to church and starts talking to God.

　　He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", than the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" .

　　一男子進(jìn)入教堂和上帝對(duì)話。他問："主啊, 一百萬美元對(duì)你意味著多少?"上帝回答："一便士"，男子又問："那一百萬年呢?"上帝說："一秒鐘"，最后男子請(qǐng)求道："上帝,我能得到一便士嗎?"上帝回答："過一秒鐘"。

　　短的小英語笑話 36

　　As our plane made its landing at O Hare, the flight attendant began her "welcome and thanks" speech.

　　當(dāng)我們的飛機(jī)在歐海爾降落時(shí)，飛機(jī)的機(jī)組人員開始了她的“歡迎和感謝”的`演講。

　　"Welcome to Chicago, where the local time is 6: 15. It has been our pleasure to serve you today. We hope you have enjoyed your flight. We know you have a choice of bankrupt airlines, and we thank you for choosing United.”

　　“歡迎來到芝加哥，當(dāng)?shù)貢r(shí)間是六點(diǎn)十五分。今天能夠給你們提供服務(wù)是我們的榮幸。我希望你們對(duì)此次飛行感到滿意。雖然你們選擇了一家破產(chǎn)的航空公司，但是我們還是感謝你們選擇了聯(lián)合航空公司�！�

　　短的小英語笑話 37

　　Reason of Punishment 懲罰的原因

　　One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didnt do.

　　The mother exclaimed, But thats terrible! Im going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didnt do?

　　The little girl replied, My homework.

　　一天，小女孩從學(xué)�；氐郊依�，對(duì)媽媽說：媽媽，今天在學(xué)校里我因?yàn)橐患�我沒有做的事情而受到懲罰。

　　媽媽激動(dòng)地說：那真是太可怕了!我要跟你的老師好好談一談，對(duì)了，你沒有做過的那件事是什么?

　　小女孩回答說：我的'家庭作業(yè)。

　　短的小英語笑話 38

　　心不在焉的老師

　　An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street with one foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him said： “Good evening，professor.How are you? “Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I dont know whats the matter with me.Ive been limping for the last half hour.”

　　有一天，人們看見一個(gè)有名的心不在焉的老師在路上走，他的一只腳一直踏在街溝里，另一只腳踩在人行道上。 一個(gè)碰見他的學(xué)生說： “晚安，老師。您怎么了?” “啊，”這位老師回答說：“我想我離開家的'時(shí)候還挺好的，可是現(xiàn)在我不知道出了什么毛病。我已經(jīng)一瘸一拐走了半個(gè)小時(shí)了�！�

　　短的小英語笑話 39

　　One Side of the Case

　　一面之辭

　　A judge asked our group of potential jurors whether anyone should be excused, and one man raised his hand.

　　一位法官問我們這群修補(bǔ)陪審員是否有人應(yīng)當(dāng)免權(quán)。一個(gè)人舉起了手。

　　"I cant hear out of my left ear," the man told the judge.

　　“我的左耳聽不見�！蹦侨烁嬖V法官。

　　"Can you hear out of your right ear?" the judge asked. The man nodded his head.

　　“你的右邊耳朵聽得見嗎?”法官問道。那人點(diǎn)了點(diǎn)頭。

　　"Youll be allowed to serve on the jury," the judge declared. "We only listen to one side of the case at a time."

　　“你將被允許加入陪審團(tuán)，”法官宣布�！拔覀兠看沃宦犚幻嬷�辭。

　　短的.小英語笑話 40

　　A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest boy and returned to her.

　　一位女士圣誕節(jié)購(gòu)物時(shí)丟了錢包。一個(gè)誠(chéng)實(shí)的小男孩撿到了錢包，還給了她。

　　Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm...thats funny. When I lost my purse there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."

　　她看了看錢包，說：“嗯……真有趣。我丟錢包時(shí)，里面有一張20元的鈔票。現(xiàn)在卻有20張一元的鈔票�！�

　　The boy quickly replied, "Thats right, lady. The last time I found a ladys purse, she didnt have any change for a reward."

　　那個(gè)男孩馬上回答說：“沒錯(cuò)，太太。上次我撿到一位女士的'錢包，她沒有零錢酬謝�！�

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